Crime Scene Musings
(warning: this post contains graphic discussion of menstrual blood. If you don't want to hear about menstrual blood, first off shame on you, and secondly move on down the page for discussions on other less controversial topics)
Ok, after watching way to much CSI yesterday I have one burning question.
When they test for blood in the many ways they test for blood HOW do they know that it is not menstrual blood. I mean with fresh blood or splatter they can test for uterine or vaginal epithelials, but is that routine procedure when testing blood???
What if I went away for a few days, and somebody(for some really silly reason) reported me missing. What if there were blood droplets found in the bathroom, or on the bed. Would they test them for uterine tissues??? Would they think that I had been murdered?
And what about those "hidden" blood moments, when they spray that nifty stuff on a clean wall to reveal the presence of human blood? How do they know it's not menstrual blood.
Ok, I know your all saying that menstrual blood doesn't get on walls, and in most cases I would agree with ya. I mean blood splatter on the ceiling is really not likely to be menstrual blood.
But let me tell ya, if a CSI team came into my bedroom and sprayed my bed and bedding, or sprayed in most places in my bathroom, there would be human blood EVERYWHERE!!! My god there was a murder committed here at some point they would say. I get blood on my sheets, blankets, underwear, clothes, the floor. I like my blood, I think it's pretty nifty. I am not as afraid of it as most people(women and men). I don't really care if I bleed on my bedding, and I don't really considered a new pair of underwear really mine until is has some blood stains on it.
So, really, how do they know???
posted by Brie @ 3:04 pm
5 Comments:
It's way too hot here to do the homework and find out how those guys check out the blood source . . . maybe it will be an interesting winter research project.
As for protecting your nearest and dearest from unwarranted accusations of murder by marauding CSI teams . . . might I suggest that you post large and colourful notices on your (new) front door and in all rooms in your (new) apartment? I'm thinking of something like . . . WARNING: underwear-free menstruating women turn cartwheels here!
That should do the trick.
xof
News Update: Police Previously Bewildered by Gory Apartment Crime Scene have recently revised their conjectures and have downgraded the site from murder scene to art crime. The art work in question is an installation piece by menstuating artist Brie MacDonald as a feminist homage to Jackson Pollack. Each room is a three dimensional rendering of one of Pollack's famous drip paintings, created using MacDonald's own menstual blood and a spatter technique she has developed over the last few years.
No charges will be laid.
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Then again, maybe this is a very clever way to disguise a murder, in a sort of reverse "the boy who cried wolf" sort of way . . . maybe you could trick the police into searching your bloody (in the literal rather than perjorative sense)apartment a bunch of times pretending that some horrific crime had taken place. They would get tired of finding only menstual blood . . . and then you could off someone, leave the place as bloody as you liked, and no on would be the wiser! God what a brilliant criminal mind I have . . . and before coffee even!
love from the world of crime
just in case you're wondering, I deleted a comment . . . and then re-entered it, because on reading the posted post, I realized that I had left out a complete sentence. In my head it was, not on the page . . . and hence I made even less sense than usual. Go drink coffee now
xo
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