Darkness

Oh dark Goddess's of death and destruction, attend to me, hear my cry. I feel like I am becoming an avenging power, flying through my life, at the edge of cutting away all the is no longer needed. It's spring and all I see is the death inherent all around me, the brown at the edge of a bright flower petal, the death of the cold and dark nights, grass that has all ready begun to fade. It is truly glorious.
I did a meditation yesterday where I breathed in darkness and breathed out light. Brough the darkness inside of me. Interestingly enough the mediation wasn't my idea, but someone eles. It gave me permission to be where I am right now. At the beginging of the meditation my first though was that I was already full of darkness.
This is a very empowering place to be at. Again, another aspect of death that I am finding our culture ignores. I feel as though the culture wants me to be overwhelmed and afriad and to tired to go on with life. By becoming the darkness, by imersing myself in death I empower myself. I can not move beyond something untill I have really moved THROUGH it. It is giving me power and strength to embrace this, no cowering in closets to afraid to attend to daily life for me anymore. If it dosn't serve me, I will cut it away. I am embodying destruction for awhile.
I am also having this overwhelming urge to put a physical evidence of my pain on the outside where everyone can see it. For awhile, in my fear state, this came out during hysterical ravings, scratching and various bangings of body parts. My dark goddess's have sent me another idea. One which others will recognize, aknowledge, and not fear. I am hoping that the water's of life will help to priestess me while transitioning my pain to the outside, to my physical form. The only question is which symbol shall ebody it???

Ohhh, and I am watching Buffy again...